All I needed
by thepotionsmaster369
Summary: After the mysterious disappearances of her parents, Bow Hartwell enrols herself in Hogwarts in a desperate bid to piece her life back together. Old secrets wind their way into her life and Bow can't let go. Severus Snape finds that he can't either.HIATUS
1. Prologue

The handle of the door turned slowly , tentatively.

I could sense her hesitation as she entered the room. She closed the door softly behind her , her hand resting on the handle for a second, before she turned and meet my eyes.

She inhaled nervously , contrasting greatly with the determined look in her eyes. She almost looked relieved as she saw me there , waiting , just as I promised.

As she stepped forward the moonlight from the window illuminated her body , her white skin reflected and her amber eyes glowing. She was wearing a sheer black lacy dress , which surprised and excited me , I had never seen her this way before. She looked older , years above her age.

She had never looked so beautiful .

And I had never felt so guilty.

Very slowly and apprehensively , she came over to me , never taking her eyes off mine. And as she approached , I stepped backwards until I reached my bed , making me sit on the edge.

Carefully , not knowing how I would be received , I placed my hands on her waist. She exhaled roughly and her whole body shivered under my touch.

In response to this I pulled her roughly onto my lap , her knees either side of my waist. Her skin was cold and covered in goosebumps. I pressed my lips to her neck , softly, before drawing back. She gripped my shoulders tightly , her hands grasping the fabric of my shirt.

She looked at me, her gaze unreadable.

"Are you sure you want this ?" I asked , as a combination of guilt and lust filled up inside me.

"Yes" She said breathlessly. I kissed her neck , her collar bone. Her whole body shuddered.

"Are you sure?" I slid my hands under her dress , along her thighs , up her spine , reaching under her bra.

I waited .

The tension in the air was almost tangible .

I held my breath.

"Severus"

She voice was unsteady and nervous but was filled with love as she spoke my name.

"I want you"

That was all I needed.


	2. First Night

**This is really the first chapter, pretty uneventful but I hope that you enjoy and maybe even review?**

**XXXxxxXXX**

She woke up to find that she wasn't in her bed. It seemed a little surreal that she would wake up in a four poster bed, with three other girls in her dorm, in a school that taught magic. In fact it was the first time Bow , a fifthteen year old witch, had ever been to a school , let alone a boarding school. Bow took a breath and let herself sink into the comfortable mattress as she vividly remembered the day before.

She had gotten on the Hogwarts express, not without difficultly. She had to go through the whole fiasco of finding Platform nine and three quarters, and then she discovered that she had to actually run through a wall. Before she did, she was highly tempted to cast a cushioning charm at the wall, but decided not to after recently discovering magic outside of Hogwarts was forbidden. Bow had never encountered this problem before because she was home-schooled. It seemed that she would have a lot to learn. After getting through the wall Bow was glad to be rid of her heavy luggage and went about finding an compartment. She found an empty one and sat down watching the students milling around outside , saying goodbyes , greeting their friends and trying to remember last minute items that they may have forgotten. Biting her lip , Bow turned from the scene playing outside her window , reached into her bag and pulled out a book hoping it would occupy her.

It was going to be a long ride.

After finally reaching Hogwarts, Bow rode the horseless carriage to the massive and impressive castle that would be her home for the next year. The castle was magnificent, better then Bow had ever expected. The students gathered in the Great Hall, eagerly chatting with friends, discussing holiday news. Bow hung back, suddenly nervous, she wasn't very good with people.

"Miss Hartwell is it?" said a voice. Bow turned around to an elderly woman, who was quite tall, with her hair pulled into a tight bun. She gave the impression of authority and Bow knew at once that this woman was not to be messed with.

"Yes," answered Bow.

"Good, now you see every year the first years are sorted into their houses but in your case I don't think that is ideal, you would look quite out of place standing up there. If you would like, I can get you sorted now, before the feast starts."

"Yes, ok, Professor." agreed Bow.

'Professor Mcgonagall , that is my name dear , now just hold still while I place this hat on your head."

Bow raised an eyebrow in surprise and amusement, had she heard the woman correctly?

But what Professor Mcgonagall said was the case and moments later Bow found herself with a large, worn, wizard's hat on her head. She was even more shocked as it began to talk to her, not out loud, but in her mind!

_Ah, you are a tough one_

_Very resourceful, a Slytherin trait._

_But I also see plenty of courage, fierce loyalty to those you love._

_You could be great in Slytherin_

_But that's not where you belong_

_I think it would have to be "GRYFFINDOR!"_

The hat was pulled off Bow's head by Mcgonagall , who no longer looked stern but was smiling , "Congratulations , welcome to Gryffindor , I introduce you to your fellow fifth-years before the feast starts , come along."

Bow was introduced to Lavender and Parvati , who informed Mcgonagall that they would introduce her to everyone else as it was time to begin the first year sorting. Bow engaged in small talk with her companions and was slightly shocked to discover that Harry Potter was in her year. She glanced at him; it looked like he was very unhappy about something.

There was a new teacher this year , an overly sickening dressed in pink woman with a face like a toad. Her voice was high pitched and shrill, it reminded Bow of a whining kitten. Bow also had to endure the long and dull speech she made. After a space of about 5seconds she stopped listening and scanned the staff table. There was Dumbledore , Mcgonagall , a massively large man that took the first years on their boat ride , and sitting near him was a man with the most displeased look on his face.

He had to be the infamous Severus Snape.

She knew about him, her parents were journalists and they were working on a story, which apparently was about Voldemort. It was top secret, she wasn't allowed to know, but she did know that Snape had something to do with it. That was about the only information she could get from her parents, the same day they...

She tried not to think about that.

Instead fresh in her mind, was the scowl of Severus Snape. The way he had noticed her looking at him, it had unnerved her and made her feel uneasy, it was as if he could read your mind and see into your soul just by looking at you.

But that was stupid; he couldn't do that, could he?

**XXXxxxXXX**

Severus Snape was preparing for his first classes of the year. He had fifth years today, which meant he had the joy of Potter's company. He also had a new student, from Gryffindor; didn't they have enough unthinking, dunderheads already?

He scowled.

The girl's name was Bow Hartwell. He remembered, with a frown that she was the girl looking at him last night. It was not a look of fear or intimidation that new students came to have of him.

She seemed almost...interested? Something Snape couldn't put his finger on. It was almost as if she knew something, knew something about him.

Something she shouldn't know

But she couldn't have, could she?

**XXXxxxXXX**


	3. Enemies and Friends

Severus Snape was waiting for the fifth year students; they were late, as usual.  
And this lesson would be a double period. Sometimes Snape just wanted to fling himself of the astrology tower. He heard them noisily congregate around the entrance of the classroom; he waited a minute to compose himself and made himself look as menacing as ever. He flung open the door and scowled at them all. There was Potter of course; he had been to hearing in the summer holidays for attacking some dementors.

_Idiot boy_, Snape thought angrily, just as reckless as his father. There was also Granger, the insufferable know-it-all, and Weasley , Potter's stupid ranga sidekick. Then he saw the girl who had been staring at him last night. She didn't look very scared of him at all unlike Longbottom who was almost on the way to having a full scale panic attack. No, she just looked intrigued by the sight of him.  
"Settle down" He said coldly as the students shuffled inside. The Hartwell girl took a seat next to Brown and Thomas, took out her textbook and looked genuinely interested. At least one Gryffindor was apart from Granger, who looked very flustered and annoyed.

Snape almost smirked. He began giving the usual speech about the upcoming Owls, considering all the students, and making mental notes on who he wanted to never see in this classroom again.  
His eyes rested on Potter and he gave him the dirtiest glare he could master. Potter had potential, but instead he prefered to slack off, not pay attention in class and was constantly disrespecting him.  
Snape directed the class to make a potion called The Draught of Peace. He knew the class would find it difficult and he took great satisfaction in the fact that some of the students would not be able to complete this task at all. He sat down at his desk and waited for the sparks to fly.  
Literally.  
He could count on at least Longbottom or Weasley.  
Instead of glaring at Potter like he usually did, his gaze wandered to the Hartwell girl. She had collected all her ingredients and had begun to chop up her shrivelled rat's tails. She was very precise and had progressed as far as Granger. Snape found he was surprised; the girl was not like the other Gryffindors, well in her work anyway. She probably was a defiant, disrespecting brat like the rest of them. He knew it .How dare she send him challenging stares, not looking intimidated at all?  
He was Severus Snape and he would not be challenged by a student. Especially a Gryfindor.

**XXXxxxXXX**

Bow Hartwell started to feel very anxious as she watched, from the corner of her eye, Snape staring at her.  
She had been trying to make a good impression and actually she was excited about the prospect of learning potions. She had never been to a real school and she was sure she would be behind all the other students, but she wasn't.  
She was sitting next to Lavender, who was chatting away about a certain Ravenclaw prefect, who apparently, was to die for. And on the other side of her, was Dean Thomas eagerly discussing quidditch with a boy called Seamus. She didn't know which side was worse.  
She looked up and found Snape looking at her. What was his problem? Then she remembered last night when he had caught her staring at him. So what? She could stare if she wanted to; irrational anger was rising inside of her.  
She would not be stared down by a teacher. Especially a death eater.

**XXXxxxXXX**

After shaking off a very clingy and annoying Pansy Parkinson, the fifth year Slytherin wandered the halls of the seventh floor. He was sick of Pansy, her worshipfulness, he didn't want it, and he didn't want her to give it him. If his father didn't appreciate him, then why should Pansy? The boy wanted control, he wanted security. He didn't want to be on the floor while the cruciatus curse was cast upon him because he couldn't fulfil his master's wishes. He didn't want to scream, screaming was weak. He wanted to be the one holding the wand, the one holding the power. He needed someone new, someone that didn't know him, someone that would submit to him, someone he could control. Just as he was thinking this, he spotted the new girl from Gryffindor. The Slytherin seized his chance and sauntered over.

Bow cursed the Hogwarts Castle. Why was it so large and confusing? It was her first day and she had already gotten lost.

"You need some help?" a voice asked behind her.

She turned and saw a blonde and very attractive Slytherin boy.

"Um , yeah" She said nervously. "I'm kinda lost"

"Well I can show you to the Great Hall if you want, the feast is about to start" He said, smooth and confident.

"Oh, thanks" said Bow, relief finding its way inside of her. The blonde boy smiled and reached out and took her books for her. He was so sweet.

"By the way" he said "My name's Draco Malfoy".

**XXXxxxXXX**

They had their backpacks and their ink and their quills. They were ready to leave, but they weren't taking her with them.

She wanted to come.

It was the Summer holidays, and it had that hazy warm sluggish feel about it. Nothing was happening and nothing felt like it was going to happen.

Bow was bored.

"Now are you sure you know where Little Hangleton is? Last time I let you deal with directions we ended up somewhere in Sussex!"

Bow's mother laughed, it was robust and lively. Her eyes were always shining.

"Of course I know. Anyway it was you who got us lost last time."

Bow's father pretended to sound annoyed. He wasn't very good at that. When he smiled, her mother couldn't help but smile too.

They smiled at her.

She scowled back.

And then they left.

And they never came back.

**XXXxxxXXX**

Bow woke up, breathing heavily, sweat plastered to her forehead. It was only a nightmare, just a nightmare.

But she so wanted it to be real.

She looked around at the other girls in her dorm, still asleep. Sunlight had begun to filter through the curtains of the window and was casting golden shadows upon the floor.

Bow resisted the urge to cry. Tears welled up in her eyes, almost brimming over the edges. She needed to get out of here.

**XXXxxxXXX**

Severus Snape was striding towards the greenhouses in angry fashion, intent on collecting potion's ingredients. The new defence against the dark arts teacher was in need of some veritaserum . He cursed that blasted woman, ordering him around, taking the job that was rightfully his.

Then Severus noticed a girl by the lake. She was sitting by the shore, arms around her knees and her head bent over. She was crying.

Severus turned away and was about to proceed towards the greenhouses when he found that he couldn't move. He turned back to the girl. She was well over a 100m away but he could tell from her shaking shoulders and her stiff posture that she was clearly distraught.

He felt a sudden impulse to go over to the girl. What was wrong with him? Severus growled in frustration before turning sharply and continued to the greenhouses.

Not without looking back.

**XXXxxxXXX**

Bow wiped her sore, crimson stained eyes, trying to calm herself.

Then she saw Severus Snape.

He had just looked at her and then turned hastily towards the greenhouses.

Bow suddenly doubted this. She was probably seeing things. In her stricken state, her mind had just let her see things.

"Bow ?"

Bow looked up into the immersing gray eyes of Draco Malfoy. He looked concerned.

"Bow , are you ok?" he asked as he sat down beside her.

Bow nodded and more tears escaped from her eyes. Draco wiped them away with his finger and Bow trembled as his soft skin touched hers.

"Come on , " He said gently , taking her hand and pulling her up " Let's get back inside and get you some breakfast."

Severus Snape watched as a pale blonde Slytherin boy took a young, tearful Gryffindor girl by the hand and led her inside.

He couldn't help but feel…something. Annoyance? Jealousy? Snape didn't know and he certainly didn't want to find out.

**XXXxxxXXX**


	4. Detention

Severus Snape was walking towards the dungeons, his cloak billowing behind him. Thank God, he thought idly, that it was the second last day of the school week. He didn't think he could handle anymore students. The new first year Slytherins were as whiny and incapable as ever, with their constant complaining and questions.

And Albus Dumbledore was asking too much, Snape needed to lay low, under the radar, so the Dark Lord wouldn't suspect a thing.

Albus Dumbledore wasn't making this an easy job.

Severus growled with impatience as the fifth years entered the classroom, slowly dawdling and exchanging whispers with friends.

They took their seats and Severus began the day's lesson. He was explaining about how to properly simmer the potion, when he noticed, Bow Hartwell was sitting next to Draco Malfoy.

He felt irritation and annoyance wash over his body. Why was he so annoyed?

Bow and Draco were sitting closer then normal friends would, knees touching, hands resting on the table not at all far apart.

What was Draco up to?

Surely this wasn't an innocent case of boy-likes-girl. She was a Gryffindor for heavens sake! And Draco Malfoy wasn't exactly a saint.

Severus instructed the class to begin their potion and he sat down at his desk, his black eyes dark and brooding.

He saw Bow share a smile with Draco. He saw Bow giggle at Draco's jokes. He saw Bow looking the happiest she had been at Hogwarts so far.

He also saw that Bow wasn't concentrating on her potion.

"Hartwell" he said, cold and commanding.

The girl's amber eyes met his.

"Detention, 7pm my office, for disrupting other students and not concentrating on your work."

She flushed a bright red at his words and lowered her head to her potion.

Snape smirked. He had half expected her to argue back.

XXXxxxXXX

Bow arrived at Snape's office at a minute before seven. She didn't know what to expect, she had never had detention before. She had never had detention with Snape.

She wondered if she would make it out alive.

She raised her hand and hesitantly knocked on the door, her knuckles scraping the cool surface.

The door swung open and Snape was standing there.

"Come in" He said, turning around and walking towards his desk.

Bow stepped forwards and gently closed the door behind her before walking over to Snape and sat in the chair facing his desk. She started to feel quite nervous. She felt hot behind the ears and she could feel her heart thumping in her chest.

"Listen carefully" He said in his low and dangerous voice, as almost as if he was giving a warning. "I will not tolerate disobedience in my class. I expect your full effort at all times and I expect you to pay attention and get your work done."

Bow nodded, reddening slightly.

"Now tonight" he continued "You will be cutting some herbs and then boiling them in a solution I have already prepared. I expect you are fully capable to do this and if your work is not up to standard you will be serving another detention. The equipment is set up over there, so you can begin."

Bow nodded again, standing up from her chair making her way over to the desk.

XXXxxxXXX

Two hours later Bow was still brewing her potion. It wasn't boring as such but it wasn't interesting enough to hold her interest.

Bow began to slip into a daydream. The last time she had brewed potions before coming to Hogwarts was with her mother. It was two days before…the incident.

It was a pleasant day, Bow could remember. Bow's Dad had joked about them making a love potion for the cute boy down the road. Bow had spoken to him once and since then Bow's parents were convinced that she was in "love" with him.

"I don't even know him!" Bow protested in exasperation.

"You don't need to know someone to love them." Bow's mother said, adding ingredients to the potion.

"Yeah when your mother was in high school, she was in love with this boy, something Lockhart. All the girls thought he was gorgeous, but personally I think he was an attention loving show off." Bow's dad said.

Bow's mother groaned in embarrassment.

"Honey why do you always have to bring up this story? I was not in love with Lockhart , I just had alittle um crush on him."

Bow burst into laughter as her mother grew more and more flushed before breaking out in her own laughter.

Suddenly Bow felt white hot pain slash through her finger. She had cut it on her knife. "Cut" was something of an understatement though. Bow was bleeding all over her desk and she began to feel nauseated by the slight off her finger.

"Professor Snape?" She said, forcing the whispered words from her mouth.

Snape looked up from his desk an unusual expression on his face. One that Bow had never seen before.

He was by her side in seconds, his hands gently examining her finger, not concerned with her blood dripping down his arm.

Bow took a short constricted breath as absolute agony tormented her finger. She had sliced the bone.

"Calm down." Snape said uncharacteristically. "I know it hurts, I know"

Bow whimpered and she did not see Snape giving her a fierce gaze from beneath his curtain of black hair.

He took out his wand and muttered incantations. Bow reminded herself to breathe.

"Im going to apply some dignity on the wound to reseal it. It is going to be extremely painful , but only for a minute or two , the cut is exceptionally deep."

Snape took a breath.

"You almost cut-"

Snape didn't finish his sentence.

Bow knew what he was going to say.

Snape applied the dignity and Bow clenched her teeth and let hot tears roll down her face and off her chin. She felt as if her flesh was being stabbed by a thousand molten needles, never relenting and forever driving them deeper.

And then it was over and Bow let out a sigh of relief. She didn't realize that her free hand had been grasping Snape's arm, so hard that her joints were aching.

She felt embarrassment creep inside her again and let go of Snape's arm and wiped the tears off her face.

"Thankyou" She whispered.

XXXxxxXXX

By the way thanks to the 4 people who have reviewed me :)

LOL

Hope you enjoyed reading.


	5. Slytherin Charm

Please review if you like it Im trying to make my chapters longer , so enjoy.

XXXxxxXXX

Severus Snape stared intently at the young girl before him. She was hunched over, holding her injured finger in her hand, remnants of tears still on her pale face.

She had thanked him. Severus couldn't remember the last time a student thanked him. The feeling was quite unnerving.

"You probably should visit the hospital wing" he told her, becoming more and more out of his comfort zone.

She nodded, clearly embarrassed.

"Well you can go back to the tower now." She had only been in detention for 2 and half hours, well under the usual amount Severus allocated for students.

He looked at her waiting for a response, and even though he was an accomplished legilimens he found it hard to tell what she was thinking.

"No" she said firmly. "I want to finish the potion."

"I can assure you that I will finish the potion, go back to the tower." Severus said, feeling slightly annoyed. Students knew better then to challenge him.

"This is my task, I came here to do it and I'll finish it." She stated, her amber eyes looking right at him.

Severus wondered what this was about; usually students would be glad to be out of these dungeons where they could escape to their dormitories. His black eyes searched her amber eyes for answers and suddenly it came to him.

She didn't want him to think that she was weak.

If the situation wasn't so serious Severus would have laughed. Why did it matter to her if he thought she was weak?

"Suit yourself" He said, returning to his desk. He sat down and looked at the girl as she resumed her work.

If any other student had nearly sliced their finger off, they would have screamed, Severus was sure. All the girl had done was calmly asked for him as she grasped her bleeding finger. She had let silent tears escape her eyes but didn't make as sound as her finger was resealed.

He didn't think that she was weak.

XXXxxxXXX

Bow Hartwell was concentrating hard on her potion. She didn't know why she wanted to continue but the thought of leaving the potion unfinished kept her in the dungeon.

She added the last herb and let the potion simmer as it emitted a slightly minty smell. She inhaled it, slowly relaxing.

Professer Snape came up to her, a small vial in hand. He bent over and stirred the potion as Bow waited nervously.

"This is very well done" He said and Bow felt relieved. "You may leave now, here is a potion to take for the pain that you will begin to feel in around half an hour when the dignity wears off."

Bow awkwardly took the potion from his hand and stood up from her the desk.

She felt the strong desire to say something, to relieve the guilt and embarrassment inside.

"Thankyou for the potion sir, and for fixing my finger. I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would of done if you weren't here, really." Bow said hoping she sounded sincere and less awkward then she felt.

"You're quite welcome" Snape said.

Bow walked over to the door, and paused with her hand resting on the frame. She looked back at the professor.

"Goodnight professor" She said before closing the door behind her.

"Goodnight Bow" Snape murmured to himself.

XXXxxxXXX

Bow woke up the next day in her dorm. It was the weekend and she laid in her bed alittle longer, think over last night. She hoped to God, Professor Snape wouldn't hold the events against her.

Around her, the other girls in her dorm were eagerly getting dressed. She looked up at them.

"Whats going on?" She asked.

Hermione Granger looked up from the bag she was packing and answered "Oh , it's the Gryffindor Quidditch trials today , we're all going down to watch."

"Oh , Ok" And with that Bow got out of bed and put on jeans and a warm hoodie , brushed her long ebony hair with her fingers and located some shoes under her bed.

When she was ready she left the dormitory and headed down towards the Syntherin common room, to find Draco.

Half way along she spotted him. He was leaning casually against the wall talking to a fourth year Hufflepuff who was dressed quite inappropriately considering the cold weather.

Bow suddenly felt an irrational desire to walk over to the girl and punch her in the face. Hard.

Draco spotted her and beckoned her over.

"Hey Bow" He said coolly, still leaning on the wall. "I was just talking to Francesca."

"Hi" Francesca said, brightly but very unfriendly, like a lion guarding its cub.

"Hi" Bow said uncertainly. She wasn't sure how to deal with this girl. "So Draco do you um want to watch the Gryffindor tryouts with me?"

"He isn't going to watch it with a Gryffindor!" Said another voice, which belonged to Pansy Parkinson, who was emerging from the Slytherin common room accompanied by Crabbe and Goyle.

"Sorry Bow" Draco said , not sounding sorry at all. "I'll catch up with you later. See you Francesca."

Pansy walked up to Draco , grabbed his hand and practically dragged him to the stadium, while Crabbe and Goyle followed.

Bow stood there clenching her hands in irritation, anger washing over her body.

She would get him back.

XXXxxxXXX

:P whats gonna happen next?


	6. Rumours and Revenge

Probably the longest chapter yet and pretty eventful too. Ignore any spelling mistakes , when the file is copied they sometimes automatically happen. Enjoy and please review :)

XXXxxxXXX

Top of Form 1

Bow walked back to her dormitory , went over to her bed on flopped upon it , sighing unhappily . For a moment she was oblivious to Parvati and Lavender , who were gossiping, their shrill giggles radiating around the room. They whispered to each other and then turned to face Bow , who was on her back staring at the ceiling.

"So Bow " Lavender began , "Whats going on between you and Malfoy?" She tried to sound cool and uncaring but Bow could sense the strong curiosity in her voice.

"Oh , nothing." Bow replied.

"Oh, well its just that we thought that you two , were like , together." said Lavender.

" Wait , you don't know?" asked Bow , talking as if she was explaining something obvious to a toddler.

"What?" asked Parvati.

"Yeah, what don't we know?". Lavender sat up straighter on the bed and had her attention fixed on Bow.

"You have been here for five years and you still don't know?" Bow asked , trying to sound impatient.

"Know what?" demanded Lavender , eagerness taking over.

Bow sighed and sat up.

"You seriously don't know?"

"Tell us!" cried Parvati.

Bow waited a few seconds for maximum effect , making sure she had Lavender's and Parvati's undivided attention.

" Malfoy is gay "

"What?" cried Lavender in utter disbelief.

"How do you know?" exclaimed Parvati.

"Isn't it obvious? Pansy is just his cover , you honestly think he actually likes her?" Bow stated , speaking before thinking. "And why do you think he is always around Crabbe and Goyle , they never leave his side. You see the gel in his hair , you see the way he fixes his hair and the way his robes are always so neat. He just uses the play boy image to cover up the fact that he is just an insecure little gay boy."

Lavender and Parvati stared at her for a good thirty seconds.

"Oh . My .God. " Lavender made each word a separate sentence.

"You are so right!" gushed Parvati. "It all makes sense!"

"I cant believe we didn't realise!" exclaimed Lavender. "C'mon we have to go tell somebody! Anybody!"

Lavender and Parvati jumped up from the bed and ran out of the dormitory , almost stumbling down the staircase.

Bow lay back down on the bed , a smirk creeping over her pale face.

XXXxxxXXX

Draco Malfoy couldn't go anywhere without someone smirking at him , laughing at him , especially Gryffindors.

That bitch would pay.

No one could go around disrespecting Draco Malfoy. He was practically wizard royalty. And that bitch would have to learn what happens when you disrespect royalty.

He would give her a thorough education.

He would make sure of it.

XXXxxxXXX

Bow remained in her dormitory for the rest of the day to avoid the chaos going on outside.

She was beginning to feel a little nervous. How would Draco react?

He wouldn't be happy , that was for sure.

Bow groaned as hunger pained her stomach and decided to make her way down to the great hall for dinner.

No one was in the common room , there was just discarded rubbish , a few random sweets and some very malformed knitted hats lying upon the mantle piece. Everyone had already left for the feast and for some strange reason Bow felt apprehensive and anxious. She had a knotted feeling in her stomach and her chest felt tight and rigid.  
She felt like she might throw up.

Ignoring these feelings , Bow walked out of the common room , into the hall and made her way to the feast. The castle seemed darker then usual and eerily calm , the portraits weren't making a sound , no one was in sight.

Bow quickened her pace , unsure why she needed to.

She heard a noise and glanced behind her. Nothing was there.

Her heart began to race , a drop of sweat dripped down the back of her clutched her wand in her hand , her knuckles were white.

Draco Malfoy , Crabbe and Goyle turned the corner in front of her.

As soon as she saw them Bow felt the instinctual urge to run. Her heart was pounding in her chest , making it hard for her to think.

Draco smiled as her saw her , not a friendly smile. His hand edged towards his pocket , where Bow knew , inside would be his wand.

"Well , well , well." He drawled , making his way closer. "If it isn't the Gryffindor bitch? Think spreading a rumor about me is funny Hartwell?"

Fury radiated over Bow and before she could help herself she replied. " Well , yeah actually. You should be glad you don't have to hide it anymore , you've finally come out of the closet."

"That's enough! I will not have a Gryffindor speak to me like that!"

With a lightning quick movement , Malfoy whipped out his wand and cried," Stupefy!"

With pure reflexes alone , Bow put up a shield charm , just in time as the red beam of light was absorbed. And before she could contemplate what to do next , Bow shrieked " Expelliarmus!" , her own red light hit Malfoy in the chest and he was thrown backwards.

Reacting the Malfoy's fall Goyle shouted ," Impedimenta!"

At the same time Crabbe bellowed a blasting curse.

The force of the two spells hit Bow's shield with extreme power and Bow was thrown backwards , hitting her head on the wall. Everything went blurry for a few seconds , Bow felt disorientated , her head was on fire .

As she was beginning to focus, a fist made contact with her face , knocking her head sideways as blood filled up in her mouth. She felt two pairs of hands hold her backwards as the fist pounded into her face again.

"Relashio!" Bow screamed , wand in hand , blood spitting from her mouth. The three boys flew backwards , hitting the wall on the opposite side of the corridor. Malfoy got up first and casted a stinging hex , Bow put up a protego shield charm and the hex rebounded hitting Malfoy in the face.

In absolute rage , Malfoy dropped his wand , ran over to Bow and sunk his hand into her stomach , as hard as he could. Behind him Goyle shot an Expelliarmus at Bow , disarming her.

"Get the fuck off me Malfoy!" Bow screamed , pain of her injuries injecting into her voice . She felt her rib crack and agony shook her body. In one last desperate attempt to save herself , she flung her fist at Malfoy , bashing onto his skull.

"MALFOY! CRABBE, GOYLE!" roared a voice , further down the hall. With a whooshing sound , Malfoy sprung away from Bow , falling onto Crabbe and Goyle , knocking them both over.

In front of them stood Severus Snape , white with fury.

In his dangerously smooth deadly voice he spoke "Get into my office right now!". The three boys looked petrified , frantically scrambling off the ground before running down the hall towards the dungeons.

Snape turned to Bow , who was hunched against the wall blood ,streaming from her mouth as every breath she took racked her body.

Bow had never seen Snape look so angry , or so menacing , or so dangerous.

Or so concerned.

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	7. In the Hands of the Potion's Master

**WOO! Reviews outnumber chapters :) lol , if you find it in your heart , please review :) And thankyou to everyone that already has.**

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Severus Snape swore furiously under his breath. Gently as he could, he lifted Bow's head up so he could examine it. She looked terrible , her face was bruising and her eyes were half closed and stained with tears. He swore again as he removed his hand finding that it was covered in blood. She needed the hospital wing .

But it wasn't that simple.

Alot of things had to be taken into consideration. For one thing , if Bow was taken to the hospital wing , news would spread about the attack and that meant Umbridge would find out. Umbridge had power over Hogwarts and that power could effectively get rid of Dumbledore at any excuse. Hogwarts would be declared unsafe and would be soon over ridden by the Ministry.  
If the assault was reported , a certain man called Lucius Malfoy could turn it all around , he had a great deal of influence over Fudge. Severus wouldn't be surprised if Bow found herself expelled for initiating, violence on the precious son of Lucius. Snape growled at the injustice, before looking down at the shaking , broken girl before him and he knew he had to do something. A strange emotion , one he rarely felt was gnawing at him , going stronger as he gazed at the girl.

It felt alot like pity.

Severus pushed this out of his mind and forced his features to relax. He to get her out of this hallway and tend to her wounds as soon as possible. He wasn't sure how to go about it. If he couldn't take her to the hospital wing then he would have to take her to his personal quarters.

"Miss Hartwell" he said , reaching out to grasp her shoulders , shaking them slightly. Her pitiful amber eyes reached his in response." Are you able to stand?"

Bow furrowed her brow in concentration , placing her hands on the ground in order to push herself up. She winced painfully , fresh tears appearing in her eyes as her face was screwed up in agony.

Severus took his hands and carefully placed them under her arms , watching her reaction to see if he was causing pain. He lifted her to her feet , and a small whimper escaped her gritted teeth. She leaned heavily on him and he held her with his arm around her back.

"You have to walk , my office is just down the hall." The request came out a little harsh , as frustration was causing Severus to become a little desperate , he needed to get her to his office so he could treat her ever worsening condition.

Bow took a deep breath and began to walk and they made it to Snape's quarters. Snape pointed his wand at the door and unlocked it , almost carrying the injured girl into the room. He walked over to the sofa , where he transferred her weight to both his arms , so he was holding her, looking down at her battered face. Severus felt livid , almost shaking with rage , all of it directed at one stupid , idiotic Slytherin boy. He laid her gently down on the sofa , removing his hands from under her.

He was sure he was going to completely lose it. He couldn't remember feeling this angry for a very long time.

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Bow Hartwell was lying on Snape's sofa. She felt her body relax and it suddenly became very comfortable to roll her eyes into the back of her head. The black haze around her threatened to engulf her and Bow found that she didn't mind , anything to get rid of the pain.  
A voice snapped her awake , someone had said her name.  
They said it again.  
She pulled herself back into consciousness and found herself looking into the black eyes of Snape.

"You must try and stay awake. You may have a concussion." Snape's words barely registered , Bow was too busy focusing on his eyes , willing him to make the pain go away. She saw his brow furrow and the intensity at which he gazed at her sent a hot tingly sensation up her body, contrasting greatly with the excruciating ache of her ribs.

Snape had his wand out , and was running it down her body , barely touching , muttering incantations under his breath. He stood up from where he was crouching.  
"You don't have a concussion , but one of your ribs is broken." He inhaled heavily , not taking his eyes off hers. "Take this potion , for the pain." Not bothering to hand it to her , he waited until she opened her bloodstained mouth and poured it in.

"And this , Skele-gro" , uncorking a new vial , pouring it into her mouth.

Bow coughed , spluttering blood and potions upon her chin. Very slowly , Snape reached over and gingerly wiped her face with a damp cloth , wiping away blood stains . Bow closed her eyes as the cool , wet fabric touched her face and the pain reliever spread its way across her body. The touch of the fabric was gone and Bow opened her eyes to meet Snape's fierce gaze , before he turned and walked out of the room.

Bow closed her heavy eyes and this time she allowed the descending darkness to enclose around her.

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Bow woke up to a dull ache in her side and sore uncomfortably rested muscles. She groaned as she stretched her body , eyes still closed. She thought over everything that had happened , realisation struck and she opened her eyes to find , that indeed , she had slept on Professor Snape's sofa! In his personal quarters!

Yet the man was no where to be seen. She was in what appeared to be a living room , there was a table , chairs and a bookcase in the corner. There were two doors , one Bow knew led to the hallway and the other probably led to Snape's room. Maybe he was asleep. She felt extremely awkward and embarrassed siting on Snape's sofa. She wondered if she could just get up and leave. She contemplated this and decided it would be rude , she needed to thank him for last night. She needed to thank him again , twice in one week. She felt exceptionally guilty. She had to make it up to him.

The door to the hallway sprung open and Snape strode into the room. Bow felt her uneasiness and nervousness climb to a new level. What was she going to say? He placed vials on his desk and turned to face her , a grim expression on his face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked , looking less in control of the situation then she would have expected him to be.

"I feel fine." She said hoping some how that this would improve his mood.

"What about your rib? Does it hurt?"

Bow shook her head.

"Good" Snape muttered , mainly to himself. He grabbed a chair from the table and brought it closer and sat in it , facing her.

"I'm going to have to ask you not to tell anyone of last night. This is not only for your well being and safety but also for the schools"

Bow felt confused , apparently this was evident on her face because Snape continued.

"Are you aware that the Ministry is infiltrating Hogwarts? This kind of information can be used against you." His voice was full of meaning and Bow started to understand. "Nonetheless , rest assured that Malfoy and company will be severely punished."

Snape was clenching the arm rest of his chair so hard his knuckles were whitening.

"Thank You for saving me." Bow said quietly , lowering her eyes.

She could hear Snape shifting awkwardly in his chair.

"You should go get ready for class." He said , his voice a little raw sounding.

Bow looked up , willing herself not to be defeated. She looked at him until he reached her gaze and breathed deeply. Somehow she felt like she wanted to cry.

"Severus Snape" She began defiantly ," Whenever you are in need of help or are in distress within the walls of this castle , I will be there." It came out quietly and seriously and she could not believe that she had said them.

And yet she truly meant them.

And before she could wait for his reaction , she stood from the sofa and left the room.

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	8. Late Night Wanderings

Top of Form 1

**Review , review , review. I planned this whole chapter during my school exams. ENJOY :)**

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Bow Hartwell fled to her dormitory ignoring the pain her ribs. She collapsed on her bed. What had she done? Her faced burned in embarrassment. Why did she say such an idiotic thing? Snape didn't want or need her protection. Bow cringed into her pillow.

She didn't regret it.

But the idea made her want to sink into the ground and die of shame. The voice in her head told herself to pull together. It wasn't that bad , really , Snape wouldn't mind , as long as she avoided him. Again she cringed , she didn't like the idea of avoiding Snape. There was something about him. She flashed back to the moment when he was wiping the blood off her face and flushed in guilty pleasure. She was lucky no-one else was in the dormitory watching her emotions take over.

She grabbed her towel and went to have a shower . She turned on the taps and let the warm , comforting water wash over her body , washing away blood and tears. The water relaxed her sore muscles and Bow let her mind wander back to the night before. They way Snape was looking at her. She felt her temperature rise and she was sure it didn't have anything to do with the hot water.

She wanted him to look at her that way again. The intensity in his eyes , the way his fury didn't quite mask his concern. The split second he had held her in his arms.

She tried to tell herself that it was just parental affection she longed for , that she yearned for the protectiveness of a parent that she no longer had.

But deep down she knew this wasn't true.

She wanted Snape to do more then hold her and heal her wounds. She desired more than the touch of his hand wiping her face.

Bow felt completely lost . She had never felt this way before.

She watched the droplets of water slide down the misty glass of the shower wall and considered what would happen if she slipped over and fell through it.

She could do it right now.

Her injured and weak glass torn body would lay on the bathroom floor. And then Snape would come and wipe the blood from her wounds. And this time he wouldn't be so hesitant and pull away as quickly. He would stroke her face and murmur to her that it would be OK. He would wrap his midnight robes around her and hold her in his arms like she was all he needed.

If she fell through the window.

She could if she wanted to , just one slip.

Bow held her breath.

If she wanted to.

Then the faces of her parents swam into her mind. They told her not to. They begged.

So she didn't.

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Severus Snape was taking a walk around the castle , thinking. It was a full moon and dull silvery shadows leaked through the windows and made the castle seam more magical.

Severus loved the castle at night. It was so peaceful and calming and sometimes he felt like he like he was the only person that existed.

Not tonight though.

He had spotted that infuriating girl walking the corridors , in the middle of the night. The nerve of her!

He marched right over to her.

Her amber eyes looked up in alarm as she saw him , as she was caught.

This sent a strange jolt into his chest , her eyes were so alluring and innocent. He lost his train of thought for a second before collecting his self.

"What on earth are you doing out of your dormitory?" He said , trying to sound angry and intimidating. Instead he found that he was mainly curious.

She considered him for a moment , her face visibly concentrating on conducting a response.

"I was thinking." She said , biting her lip , her brow furrowing.

Severus wasn't expecting that.

" What about?" He asked , but not kindly. He studied her as he waited for her to answer. She seemed to recoil at his question as if he had hurt her.

"Nothing." She said , the topaz in her eyes swirling like she was about to cry.

" I would like you to tell me." His demand came out more as a request then he would have wanted it to.

" I'd rather not tell you." She whispered , her voice sounding raw and slightly distressed. Severus felt a pang go through him and for one second he wanted to hold her.

To comfort her.

What the hell was wrong with him?

And awkward silence surrounded them for a few seconds and she looked down , nervously.

Was she afraid of him?

"I'll going to escort you back to the tower." He said ," And then I'll you will you your punishment."

She nodded and they began to walk, the awkwardness of the situation still ever present. She had promised to protect him , to protect Severus Snape , the nasty git who lived in his dungeon lair. Severus didn't know what to think. Obviously she wanted to repay him , for just doing his job , doing what anyone else in that situation would have done.

But it was him and not someone else.

"Professor Snape?" her voice interrupted his thoughts. He stared at her , waiting. She had stopped walking and now had that fierce look in her eyes , the one the Snape couldn't ignore.

"Why are you out here?"

He was here for precisely the same reason she was . To think. And that is what he answered , hoping this would satisfy.

"What about?" she asked again , her arm holding the other in a protective gesture. Should he answer?

Sometimes he couldn't sleep. Sometimes he thought about everything. About the current situation of the wizarding world , the situation he was in. Sometimes he thought about Lily.

Sometimes he thought about Voldemort.

Noticing that she required an answer , his mind ran through all possible responses. He could lie , but he found he didn't want to. He could tell her nothing. He could tell her the truth or a variation.

Meeting her eyes again he said one word "Him."

He waited for her to ask who , but she understood. She nodded , comprehension over taking her features. Maybe she regretted asking. Snape looked into her mind for a moment , not long enough to be detected though. He saw a flash of different images but the two faces remained constant. A man and a woman who looked very similar to the girl in front of him. She looked so vulnerable and lost.

"Are you afraid?" She asked.

No-one had ever asked him if he was afraid. Her question danced around in his head repeating itself.

Are you afraid?

Was he?

The rational part of his mind was screaming NO! over and over again. He wasn't afraid , he wasn't. He tried to believe it rather then face the alternative answer , the answer that threatened to break him.

"Are you?" he asked instead.

Her eyes misted over and she seemed completely unaware of his presence as she searched for answer. The strange , undeniable urge to hold her came over Snape again and he shook away the impulse.

"Yes." She whispered , not meeting his eyes.

He was too.

He wanted to make the sad , defeated look go away from her eyes. But he didn't know how. He didn't want to do anything he would regret. She would never let him.

She would never want him.

He followed her to the tower and she stopped at the portrait , waiting for him.

"I'm going to have to take some points off Gryfindor for your little late night wonderings." He said , trying to cover the emotions that were welling inside him. "Lets see , I think 20 points from Gryfindor will suffice."

She smirked. Snape couldn't believe it , really this girl was infuriating.

"What?" He demanded.

"Well it's just that I was expecting something along the lines of 50points and a week worth of detentions."

She was smiling now and Severus realised with irritation that she was right.

"Well that's what you'll get then , and I'll take an extra 20 points off Gryfindor for questioning a teacher." He said.

The smile disappeared for her face but he could tell it was still lurking beneath , waiting to resurface. She turned to the Fat Lady and said the password before climbing into the portrait hole.

She looked back , and couldn't help but smile as she said "Goodnight Professor." before closing the portrait behind her.

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	9. Punishment

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Bow got out of bed and realized it was Monday. She sighed to herself before remembering with a jolt that she would see Draco Malfoy the first time after the "incident". The distress must have shown on her face because she felt the eyes of Hermione Granger staring into her.

"You alright Bow?' she asked, sounding concerned. Bow turned to face the girl with bushy brown hair and considered. Hermione didn't need to know, no-one needed to know.

Forcing a smile on her face Bow replied "Yeah, I'm fine." Hermione looked at her skeptically for a second and then proceeded to put her uniform on. Bow sighed again, wishing she hadn't let her guard down. She felt so uneasy after the encounter with Severus Snape in the corridors last night. He was a different man, so different to the snaky, rude and just plain nasty man which dominated the potions lessons. He almost seemed…nice. Bow scoffed at the thought of a "nice" Snape and then felt guilty. He was a human being, he deserved respect. He had saved her twice, clearly he wasn't all bad. He had fears, he had desires, and maybe he even felt love. There was so much she didn't know. She knew he was a death eater, but that was just a title. Dumbledore trusted him and she knew instinctively that she did too.

Bow thought Divination was a waste of time. Sure it could be amusing but it was pointless. What happened in the future was fate and nothing could change or predict it. Bow was interrupted from her musings by Trelawney.

"What meanings have you interpreted from your dreams Miss Hartwell?" Trelawney asked dreamily. Bow scowled, she didn't need a stupid book to tell her what her dreams meant. She had the same dreams almost every night, involving two people who she was certain that she would never see again. She subconsciously clenched her fists as her eyes misted over for a second. She cherished those dreams; desperately holding on to them, a combination of relief and pain filled her every time she met them while in her sleep.

"Miss Hartwell?" said Trelawney, impatience evident in her voice. Bow snapped out of her thoughts and met Trelawney's bug-like eyes.

"I had a dream that I was um eating ice-cream." Bow lied and then began to flip through her Dream Oracle, until she found the right page, "So that must mean I had an enjoyable childhood?"

"Yes my dear." Said Trelawney, her eyes searching, "It also depends on the flavor and the state of the ice-cream, for example was it melted? Or in a cone?"

Bow stuttered and wished she hadn't dug herself into such a hole, why was a simple dream so complicated? "The ice-cream was in a cone, it wasn't melted and it was vanilla."

"I see" said Trelawney ominously, "This kind of dream foretells a painful uncertain future…." Trelawney carried on into a long winded interpretation of the dream. Bow stopped listening and found herself gazing into the crystal ball which was situated upon her table. The smoke like substance swirled around inside the ball, turning snow white. And in the mist of white smoke she saw a black figure. Bow leaned onto the table, captivated by what she was seeing. Her face was centimeters from the clouded ball when the dark figure became larger and easier to see. It was a person draped in an ebony cloak, the hood dipped low so the identity was hidden.

"Look at me." Bow whispered.

The man in the ball gradually lifted the hood of his robe with stark white hands before revealing his face.

Bow gasped.

It was Severus Snape.

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"Now, listen up." Began Hagrid , standing outside of his hut. Students were milling around the lake eager to soak up the last few rays of sun before winter hit, eating their lunch while chatting happily with friends. Hagrid focused his attention back on the three boys standing in front of him, and frowned, they really were a nasty group of kids, just like their fathers.

"I want ye' to grab a shovel each and follow me." Hagrid said and made his way towards the Forbidden Forest.

"Wait a second!" scowled the youngest boy, his features highlighted with indignation "Im not going in there!"

Hagrid felt irritation fill up inside him before retaliating, "Ye' bloody well are! You 'ave a detention to serve! Thought you could beat up a girl and get away with it?"

"You just wait until my father hears about this!" Threatened Malfoy , fuming.

"Lucius?" said Hagrid , "I don't bloody care what ye' father thinks Malfoy! Its ye' I would be worried about. Now come with me!"

Hagrid led the trio into the forest before stopping at a clearing where a massively large pile of thestral dung was awaiting.

"You can't be serious!" exclaimed Malfoy when he saw the dung. "How the hell are we going to move that?"

"That Mr Malfoy" said Hagrid , "Is what ye' shovels are for."

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Bow waited outside the door of the potions classroom as her classmates congregated around her. A disgusting smell hit her nose before she coughed, as many around her did too.

"What's that awful smell?" exclaimed Dean, holding his nose. The question was answered by the presence of three boys, all bearing unmistakable signs of a very familiar brown substance on their hands. All the Gryffindors roared with laughter and Bow noticed that not even Hermione Granger could suppress a giggle or two.

The door of the classroom swung open revealing Severus Snape. The laughter died down immediately. Dean had tears forming in his eyes and Ron Weasley was biting on his knuckles to silence the amusement the he was trying to take control of.

"Settle down." said Snape as he eyed them all. His gaze rested on Bow and she felt herself flush as she held his gaze before looking at the ground. And as she shuffled inside with the rest of the students she swore that he was smirking at her.

The lesson went without a hassle, as Gryffindor's points were relatively unscaved by the end of the lesson. Bow felt her mood lift as the end of the lesson approached, casting a few unnoticed smirks at Malfoy from time to time, unaware that Snape was watching her.

As they were packing up a few Gryffindors commented on the smell, causing more laughter as a very furious Malfoy strode from the classroom, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him. Bow washed her hands before sensing a presence behind her. She tensed and felt herself flush again before she turned around to Snape. The classroom was empty and Bow began to feel very, very nervous. She stepped backwards and the back of her thighs made contact with the counter behind her. She swallowed and looked up at Snape.

"My office, eight o'clock for your detention."

"Y-yes Sir." Bow stammered.

"And Miss Hartwell." Said Snape , his voice silky smooth sending a thrill through her spine. "Don't be late." And with that Snape strode from the classroom, leaving Bow to wonder what on earth just happened.

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**Im having a case of writers block, not really knowing where I should go, that's why it was a long time before this update. **

**Anyways please review **


	10. Curiosity

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Hey everyone. I hope you enjoy this chapter , it's a little short. It has been suggested that my character is a Mary sue and that is not my intention. Please bare that in mind because there is a description of Bow , her appearance especially, from Snape's point of view. I'm not trying to make her perfect , and she does have some flaws as well as good points. Anyway I would love it if you were to review :)

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Severus Snape glanced up at the clock for about the forth time in the space of ten minutes.

7.57

Severus sighed and decided he might as well prepare the girl's detention. Not that this bothered him , he enjoyed giving those dunderheads detention. He couldn't help but think that his elevated mood was due to something else. Infact Severus couldn't even bring his face into a scowl as a knock was heard from his door. His bark of "enter!" sounded half-hearted. The door swung open and inside stepped the girl. She turned away from him , closing the door alittle carelessly so it made a rather loud banging sound.

"Hartwell!" Snape growled , "Watch yourself." The comment came more from annoyance than actual anger and it definitely contained less venom than his usual snide remarks. He barely heard the girl mutter "Yes Sir." before she turned to face him. Shock and surprise registered in Snape has he saw her facial expression.

The girl was absolutely furious.

Her amber eyes were livid and her fists were clenched. She was also shaking slightly.

And before he could stop himself, Snape blurted out "What happened?" More because he was curious then actually concerned. At least that is what he told himself.

"Nothing" Bow mumbled , dropping her school bag to the ground. Snape wasn't convinced.

" I want to know." Snape phrased his words so they came out as an implied order rather then a question. He didn't actually care , did he?

"Well who cares what you bloody want!" she snapped back at him. A moment later her face went white. Snape was barely aware of the anger coursing through his veins , how dare she talk to him like that!

"I-I'm sorry sir...I didn't mean...I'm just a little...upset." Bow looked at the floor, flushing with embarrassment. Snape took a breath and let the anger dissipate from his body. After a second he heard his voice stiffly reply "For this detention I have assigned you the task of rewriting files of past students. You will copy everyone , word for word onto fresh parchment and then file it back into its correct box. Understand?"

Bow nodded and eyed the many boxes of files on the desk with a slightly pained expression. It was going to take forever. 

"Yes sir." Bow sighed tersely, walking over to her desk while Snape sat at his own. Over the next hour Snape tried to keep his mind on marking students' essays but found his mind didn't have the capacity right now. They were poorly written anyway , a mixture of Gryfindors and Hufflepuffs. Instead Snape couldn't resist looking up at Bow from time to time. He was highly suspicious of her unexplained fury. Draco Malfoy sprang into Snape's thoughts. He probably had done something again. What had he done , Snape didn't know. Draco had been given a relentless mound of detentions , all unpleasant tasks. He certainly got what he deserved. But Snape couldn't help but wonder why the girl's parents had not contacted the school? Surely they must be furious , Bow was almost beaten to a bloody pulp for goodness sake! She still had dark shadows where bruises didn't fade. So if her parents hadn't contacted the school , it could be concluded that they didn't know or they didn't care. The latter was less likely but it still made Snape feel uneasy at the thought. He felt like Bow was hiding something. It was all very mysterious. She had just turned up from no-where and had entered Hogwarts. She didn't know anyone and hadn't seemed to make any friends. She was quite smart though , not at the level of Granger or other promising Ravenclaws but she was above average. This suggested that she had had proper schooling before Hogwarts. But which school? Snape had only heard of Baubaxtons or Durmstrung but he knew there were other schools around the world. He hadn't really given it much thought before , there was no place like Hogwarts. Baubaxtons seemed unlikely because the girl didn't have any trace of a French accent but Durmstang seemed equally unlikely. He  
looked over at her again.

"What school?" He asked , the words tumbling from his mouth. Bow looked up from the scattered files , her brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"What school did you attend before Hogwarts?"

"Oh. I was home schooled." Bow returned to her work , rather eagerly, Snape noted. She did look slightly uncomfortable with his questioning. At least it solved the dilemma...a little. Snape then wondered why Bow's parents would have a change of heart and send her to Hogwarts. Maybe they realized that the were incapable of continuing at a higher level of education , maybe they had busy lives with busy jobs... or maybe something else. Burning curiosity was eating at Snape and for  
the first time he really looked at the girl. She was quite pretty , he'd give her that. But there was also something strange about her appearance too. Infact she did look thin and not the sort of childhood growth thinness that continued into the teenage years but more of a sickly thin. The kind of look that comes from loosing a great deal of weight in a short period of time. The shadows under her eyes were not just from bruises. Snape's curiosity intensified. Although she did look slightly unhealthy she still looked attractive. Something Snape failed to do. She had long almost black hair. It wasn't shiny or glossy but quite messy and unevenly cut. There were a few streaks of brown where the damaged hair had faded and had acquired split ends. The eyes really made up for the hair though. They were a striking amber.  
Snape remembered Lily's eyes for a second. They were always so lively and shining , full of happiness and love. Bow's eyes instead conveyed innocence , mystery and a little sadness. They often betrayed her emotions. Snape did not even notice himself gazing intently at Bow before her head snapped up, the those topaz eyes regarding him with an indifferent expression.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked. She didn't sound angry or annoyed just curious. Snape shook himself from his reverie.

"Why did you come to Hogwarts?" Snape countered using his quick wit. Immediately Bow's demeanor tensed and she turned back to her work.

"Well my parents thought would be a good idea." she said , not looking at Snape. He knew she was lying.

"Why?" Snape pressed on , ignoring Bow's discomfort.

"Oh they thought I could learn more here." She said , a little too airily then a truthful response would have required.

"And what did your parents teach you?"

Bow bit her lip , but just for a second. Snape didn't miss it though. "Well" she said finally turning to look at him , "My dad taught me astronomy and a little Defence. My mum taught me potions , transfiguration , some history , geography. I kinda just picked up charms along the way . I don't really know any Herbology though ,  
Professor Sprout wasn't pleased. And apparently I'm a natural at Divination , which is just great." The divination comment was made with deliberate sarcasm and Snape found himself smirking. He quickly stopped though but she didn't even find it strange that he would find something she said amusing. It occurred to Snape that Bow didn't really know him that well and was not prejudiced against him like all the other Gryfindors. For some strange reason Snape felt thankful for that fact.

Then suddenly , before either one could react the whole room went pitch black. Bow let out a noise that sounded almost like a scream. Snape gripped his wand tightly in his hand and ignored the sound of his heart pounding furiously in his ears.

"Lumos!" Snape whispered furiously. Nothing happened.

"Professor?" asked Bow , her voice shaking.

"Quiet!" Snape hissed. What the hell was going on? Snape frantically tried the lumos spell a few more times but nothing prevailed. He hoped to god the school wasn't under attack. He listened in the black darkness for a few seconds , waiting for screams and yelling to confirm his theory. But the room was silent except for Bow's unsteady breathing and Snape's own.

"Professor?"she squeaked again. He couldn't see her or anything in this darkness. The room was totally engulfed blackness . Sensing Bow's fear and confusion , Snape stood up and carefully made his way towards her. He reached out and his fingers brushed her robe. Her own hand reached and clutched his arm , very tightly. It did not occur to Snape to push her off.

"Professor , what's going on?"

That really was the question Snape wanted to find out.

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	11. Nightmare

**Thanks for reviewing everybody :) I think this chapter is a little strange...mmm. Ignore spelling mistakes plz :)**

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Severus Snape was in a pitch black room , defenceless and alone with a student that he had confusing feelings towards. He had certainly never been in this situation before. It was going to be one awkward night.

"Give me your wand." Snape said to Bow , impatiently.

"W-why Sir?"

"Just give it to me." Bow shuffled in her pocket to get her wand and then with an unsteady hand she gave it to Snape.

"Lumos!" Snape hissed. Nothing happened and Snape swore. Bow flinched.

"Here." said Snape , handing Bow back her wand. "It seems that all magical activity in this room or quite possibly this castle has been disabled."

"What are we going to do?" whispered Bow , gripping Snape's arm even tighter.

As if to answer that question especially , a silver phoenix appeared in the room , a halo of blinding light in a dark void. With Dumbledore's voice it spoke , "Everything is fine Severus. Accidentally activated the castle's defence mechanism. Do not attempt to leave your room until I give you the word." And with that the potronus silently faded away.

"Old fool." muttered Snape.

"Now what?" asked Bow. "I can't see anything at all." Snape shook off Bow's arm. After the initial shock had passed her attachment seemed unnecessary. Her breath hitched as Snape started to move to the other side of the table , his hands carefully guiding him along.

"What is it?" he asked.

Her discomfort is almost tangible and Bow replied , nearly inaudibly , "I'm kinda..um..scared of the dark." If this had been a normal situation , Snape would have scoffed or made some kind of snide remark. Instead he sighed and turned back , taking a seat beside Bow , not in front of her.

"Satisfied?" he asked her , sounding a little grumpy.

"Thanks." She breathed , pulling her hands to her lap , picking at her fingernails.

"Are you a Gryffindor or not?" Snape jeered , more or less sounding like his usual self.

Bow did not take this offensively and replied , casually , "I don't know. I don't really feel brave at all."

"You took on Malfoy , three to one." Snape pointed out.

"Yeah well , I wasn't really thinking at the time."

"In essence , a true Gryffindor trait. Rash , hot headed and unthinking risk takers , the lot of them."

Bow snickered. "It was my fault anyway."

"Oh really?" asked Snape , his interest spiking. She may be light and easygoing about the topic but Snape was quite serious. What had started the fight anyway? Draco had refused to tell him.

"I spread a rumor about Malfoy. Said he was gay." she said proudly.

"How very Slytherin of you." said Snape dryly , "And do tell, was Malfoy the reason you entered this detention in such emotional turmoil?" Bow tensed beside him and her upper arm brushed against Snape in the movement. He pretended not to notice. It wasn't easy.

"Yes." confessed Bow , quietly , her head bent downwards. Snape felt a stifle of annoyance rush through him for a second. What had Draco done now? "He just said something to me , nothing really."

"What did he say?"

"Don't worry about it." Now it was Snape's turn to grasp her arm , a little stiffly , just below the shoulder. He bent in a little closer , so his head was a few centimetres from her's.

"What did he say?" Snape asked again , his words filled with malice , although not directed at Bow.

"He just said ," answered Bow with an air of uncertainty , "that I better watch my back."

"In those exact words?"

"Not really."

Snape scowled. It was pointless really because no one could even see his face , but still the expression had become something of a reflex over the years. The pair relapsed into an awkward silence.

Purely for something to say , Bow asked "What's the time?"

"Before the lights went out it was around nine thirty."

"So do you reckon it's ten?"

"I would assume so."

Bow yawned.

"Tired?" Snape sneered. It was only ten , after all.

"Yeah. I don't sleep well."

"Why not?"

"I have nightmares."

Well that was intriguing. What was in these nightmares? Snape knew better than to push for answers seeing the girl's seeming reluctance to reveal anything personal. And besides , everyone had nightmares from time to time , especially him. Bow yawned again and lay her head on the desk , not caring about the informality she was placing herself in. Snape was not offended by this gesture , for one part he couldn't see anyway. He found himself a little amused by her behaviour. She didn't seem intimidated by him but not arrogantly rule breaking either. She was polite but she didn't let herself be knowingly taken advantage of.

"Night." she mumbled, into the crook of her arm that was supporting her head.

"Night." said Snape uncomfortably. How could she just go to sleep and leave him alone in the dark?

Why did he even care?

He liked to be alone , that's how it always was. No one was invited in , not since...He didn't dare to say her name anymore. But that couldn't stop him from thinking of her...of her eyes. Snape felt his own eyes droop , how easy it was to be sucked into oblivion , the space between night and dawn , where he frequently met her and his demons. Snape rested his own head on the desk, emerald in his mind , the flaming hair, Lily. What would she think of him now? Darkness descended in clouds in his vision and Snape was pulled into sleep , the void where he would meet his unrequited love.

But that night something was different.

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Lily was there , standing in a meadow , her soft hair blowing in the breeze. The sun was blinding , the air stung like bittersweet sugar.

"Severus." she called. She was wearing white sundress with tiny interlaced patterns. She was beautiful. Somehow Snape made it to her, entwining her in his arms.

"Lily" he breathed. She looked confused by his actions , she bit her lip. The russet strands of hair enfolded their heads , those loving eyes searching.

"What is it?" Snape asked her , wanting to kiss the frown off her face. She had him entrapped and he wasn't leaving.

"Don't you understand?"

Understand what? Snape tightened his arms , the white fabric bunching up in her lower back. She placed her hands on his chest. Snape felt his heart thudding , unable to tear his gaze away. And then , instead of pulling him closer , those hands pushed him back. She freed himself. Why was she crying? Why did she look so happy?

A lump found its way into Snape's throat , he was shaking. She smiled , flashing pearl gems.

"It's time for you to move on."

_No_. Lily stepped backwards. Snape could feel the wetness in his eyes. He didn't need to , they were supposed to be forever. It couldn't be.

"Lily!" he choked.

"Goodbye Severus , I will always love you." She walked away.

Snape tried to run but his feet were rooted to the ground , he struggled , thrashed , he couldn't move. Lily was disappearing into the sunlit horizon.

"Lily!" he screamed , his insides ripping about. It couldn't be happening. He screamed her name a million times more until she faded into the backdrop , gone , gone forever.

"Lily , Lily , Lily ." he whispered, his voice hoarse , broken , torn up. He collapsed on the ground , the grass suddenly dead , the glowing sky suddenly pitch black. Tremors raked his body , sobs escaped his mouth. It was all over, his life was over. A dull hoot resounded in the still night air and Snape looked up. An owl , raven black , was perched in front of him , its front turned away.

"Who are you?" The owl turned around and Snape was struck like lightning , he couldn't breathe. The owl , the raven owl had the eyes of rich amber. Those eyes , they had replaced hers , they had replaced Lily's. Snape let out another scream of anguish , of pain , the world was spinning out of control , he couldn't take it.

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"Professor?"

"Professor?"

The real world came into focus , Snape awoke. The owl , now in human form stood over him , shaking his shoulder , looking concerned. It was early morning.

"Professor Snape? Are you OK? Were you having a nightmare?" Bow furrowed her brow , bit her lip , clasped her hands together.

Snape shook himself and scowled at her. She had torn everything apart , it couldn't be her. He didn't want... He didn't like...He wanted control , he couldn't have...He was trembling , she was touching his shoulder. _No _

"Get out." he demanded , sitting up sounding stiff and venomous. She swallowed, looking frightened.

"B-but S-sir" Snape lost it , his face went white , he shook violently.

"GET OUT!" he shrieked , sounding demented , inhuman. Bow paled , looking terrified out her mind and then bolted from the room. Snape swore furiously , grabbing the box of papers and flinging it against the wall. He screamed with rage , threw the chair , smashed his fist into the desk. He had lost her. Again.

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	12. Bipolar

**This chapter is more of a filler but I think you will like it. Thankyou to everyone that has reviewed. You may have noticed some changes to this story, chapter two has been edited but nothing major has been changed and chapters three and four have been combined.**

**Anyway enjoy reading :)**

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Bow was currently stuck in a very peculiar predicament. She stood nervously outside the Gyffindor tower, contemplating on what she should do. She had two options, one was to go to detention and risk the furious wrath of Snape or skip detention entirely. She didn't really know what to do, she had a weeks' worth of detentions and she had only been to one. She imagined knocking on Snape's door and him opening it, yelling angrily for her to leave. But if she didn't go to detention she would get into more trouble for missing detention. Bow sighed, she hated the fact that she was acting like a coward, Snape wouldn't kill her and he wasn't a monster. Huffing audibly, Bow began to make her way down to the dungeons. She reached the door of the potions master's office and knocked confidently or as confidently as she could manage.

The door swung open and Snape stood there, looking slightly surprised. Bow's eyes narrowed when she saw him, taking in his appearance. He looked very tired, not sleepy tired but deep bone tired. There were dark shadows under his eyes and the lines on his forehead were more prominent than ever. Bow had to stop herself from gasping out loud.

The professor walked away from the door and Bow followed. She couldn't help but feel concerned. Every step Snape took he winced, pain flashing briefly in his eyes.

"You can finish your filing." said Snape in a monotone, not looking at Bow. The boxes were still on the desk since last night.

"Professor" said Bow , mentally chastising herself for asking, "Are you alright?"

The professor sighed with irritation and annoyance, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I am fine."

Bow gave him another concerned look, not meeting any response. She reluctantly began her detention. She did not notice Snape sit down at his desk and close his eyes for a few seconds , rubbing his fingers on his temples.

"On second thoughts," he said, and Bow looked up from her work, "You can assist me in brewing a potion."

Bow looked positively delighted by the fact that she would no longer have to continue the tedious filing.

"Sure Professor," she said, standing up away from the desk, "What are we making?"

Snape didn't answer immediately, "A pain relieving potion.''

Bow's face was laced with understanding, "Oh."

Snape scowled a little, "Not for _me_. It appears my stock has completed somewhat and Madam Pomfrey is requesting some more."

Snape lied easily, Pomfrey didn't need the potion, his fellow Death Eaters were often demanding it of Snape, especially after being tortured by Lord Voldemort. Snape had gotten used to the pain and no longer found it prudent to take the potion. He did not like masking his body's symptoms and pain; he did not need his self-diagnosis compromised by a potion hiding what was really wrong with him.

Bow nodded in response, believing him easily. Snape led her into his private potion's lab. He did not know why he was letting her help him but he might as well take advantage of her presence, the potions really needed to be made by next summoning. Snape was not looking forward to it, the night before he was punished for providing a lack of information on the Order's activities. Voldemort was becoming impatient and Snape was walking on thin ice, teetering on the edge.

Snape rummaged in his cupboard and produced some herbs and roots of various magical plants. He placed them on the desk with a cutting knife and a wooden board, "Slice those into strips, no wider than half an inch."

Bow began doing what he instructed, hesitating before slicing, "And for heaven's sake", Snape said,"Please concentrate on what you are doing; we don't need any more finger injuries. "

Bow smirked with a mixture of amusement and embarrassment, "Don't worry Professor."

Snape huffed; he wasn't worried, was he? Snape shook himself and began brewing the base of the potion. The pair fell into silence; it wasn't awkward just comfortable was the rhythmic sounds of the knife cutting and Snape's stirring filled the air. Not long after though Snape noticed that Bow was slicing incorrectly.

"Miss Hartwell, you need to slice the root in one go, not in the sawing motion you are currently doing, we do not want to mutilate the root."

Bow furrowed her brow in concentration as she tried to correct her slicing motion. She still wasn't doing it right. Snape stood from the desk, "You are still doing it incorrectly, here, I'll show you." Snape laid his hand over hers, gripping slightly, "You need to position it over the top and press downwards." Snape pushed Bow's hand down and the knife cut through the root with a soft chopping sound as it hit the board. Then he let go. Bow let out the breath she had been holding in, her heart was racing. She prayed Snape wouldn't notice. He wordlessly returned to his side of the desk and Bow ran her hand through her hair with a sigh.

Snape did not fail to notice this.

Bow began to feel quite confused. The potion master's behaviour has unpredictable and startling at the best of times. It was like he had bipolar or something. Sometimes he was snarky, rude and downright nasty. Other times he could be quite pleasant and even friendly. It seemed like sometimes he was a completely different person.

Snape noticed Bow become quite deep in thought and found himself curious, "What are you thinking?" It was an uncharacteristic question for him to ask; usually he could tell what others were thinking thanks to his mind-reading powers.

"I was wondering" she said, throwing caution to the winds, "if you have bipolar."

Bow waited for the explosion to begin, for Snape to throw her out his office. The explosion never came. Instead, Snape smirked and then chuckled.

Bow gaped at him, dumbstruck. _Had Snape actually laughed_?

He was unbelievable!

Snape found himself even more amused by Bow's reaction, he returned to his work, the smirk still present on his face, "And why would you think that?"

He glanced up at her face, gauging her reaction, wondering how she would answer. She bit her lip and then replied, "For example, we have just had a civilised conversation, one of a few and yesterday you threw me out of your office!" Bow was no longer smiling and now looked quite irritated, cutting her roots in a violent fashion. Snape felt tempted to scold her for her outburst but resisted. He was feeling…he couldn't quite put his finger on it…was it guilt?

No, it couldn't be.

"I was shocked to see that you were still in my office"

Bow's eyes widened, _had he just apologised to her?_

The man had to have bipolar, definitely.

"Sorry" she mumbled, finishing off her cutting.

A few hours passed and the pair did not argue again. Snape was finding that she wasn't bad company to have, she didn't pester him with incessant chatter nor did she ask too many questions. She was quite useful.

They completed the potion and Bow stood from her desk, waiting to be dismissed.

"You may go, but you must return tomorrow night."

"Yes Professor, goodnight Professor." said Bow, for some reason feeling weak in the knees. She left his office, his words replaying themselves over in her head.

She didn't know for sure, she was never good at interpreting people's expressions and their meanings behind their words but it sounded a lot like Snape wanted her to return the next night.

She found that she did too.

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